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Saturday Night Live
Season 1, Episode 9
Aired January 10, 1976
Transcript from: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75ishimmer.phtml
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[ open on suburban kitchen, Wife and Husband arguing ]
Wife: New Shimmer is a floor wax!
Husband: No, new Shimmer is a dessert topping!
Wife: It's a floor wax!
Husband: It's a dessert topping!
Wife: It's a floor wax, I'm telling you!
Husband: It's a dessert topping, you cow!
Spokesman: [ enters quickly ] Hey, hey, hey, calm down, you two. New Shimmer is both a floor wax and a dessert topping! Here, I'll spray some on your mop.. [ sprays Shimmer onto mop ] ..and some on your butterscotch pudding. [ sprays Shimmer onto pudding ]
[ Husband eats while Wife mops ]
Husband: Mmmmm, tastes terrific!
Wife: And just look at that shine! But will it last?
Spokesman: Hey, outlasts every other leading floor wax, 2 to 1. It's durable, and it's scuff-resistant.
Husband: And it's delicious!
Spokesman: Sure is! Perks up anything from an ice cream sundae to a pumpkin pie!
Wife: Made from an exclusive non-yellowing formula.
Husband: I haven't even touched my pudding and I'm ready for more!
Wife: But what about black heel marks?
Spokesman: Dirt, grime, even black heel marks, wipe clean with a damp mop.
[ Husband accidentally sprays Shimmer onto the floor ]
Husband: Oh, sorry, honey, I'll clean that up!
Wife: Oh, no problem, sweetheart, not with new Shimmer!
[ Spokesman laughs continuously as he approaches the camera ]
Spokesman: New Shimmer, for the greatest shine you ever tasted!
[ fade ]
Air Date: January 10th, 1976
Host: Elliot Gould
Musical Guest: Anne Murray
Special Guests: The Muppets
A Film By: Albert Brooks
Paul ShafferThe Dead String Quartet
Elliot Gould's Monologue
Summary: Elliot Gould sings "Let Yourself Go" & "Crazy Rhythm."
Bio: Former Broadway chorusline dancer Elliot Gould (1938-) was a counterculture favorite during the late 60's/early 70's, thanks to performances in films like "MASH" and "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice." He was one of SNL's most frequent hosts during the 70's. Gould was also married to Barbara Streisand.
Also Appeared: 75v, 76s, 78i, 79k, 80a.
Gilda & Elliot I
Summary: Gilda Radner joins Elliot Gould on stage to tell him that she had a nice time with him last night.
Summary: A battery strong enough to run a pacemaker all night.
Note: Repeat from 10/18/75.
Summary: A housewife (Jane Curtin) is startled when demolitionists (Elliot Gould, Chevy Chase) show up at her door and proceed to wreck the house from the inside.
Godfather Group Therapy
Summary: With help from his therapist (Elliot Gould), mafia kingpin Don Vito Coreleone (John Belushi) relates his problems to Sherry (Laraine Newman) and other members of his support group.
Recurring Characters: Sherry.
Summary: It's a floor wax and a dessert topping!
"Play Misty For Me"
Summary: This week's Gary Weis film shows a montage of lounge club pianists singing "Misty."
Gilda & Elliot II
Summary: Gilda Radner tells Elliot Gould that she meant everything she said to him last night.
Anne Murray performs "Long-Distance
Bio: Canadian singer Anne Murray (1945-) simultaneously maintained top ten hits on country and pop charts throughout the 70's.
Weekend Update with Chevy
Summary: A wrong number again leads Chevy Chase to Angelo's Pizza instead of Angola Prison. Laraine Newman reports on toxic nerve gas. Chevy Chase and his wife (Michael O'Donaghue) argue at the desk. Chevy Chase repeats the top story in double-dutch for foreign viewers.
Summary: Chevy Chase and Michael O'Donaghue portray a married couple, whose lives have been enrichened by using the advertised product.
Note: Repeat from 10/11/75.
Summary: After hearing that killer bees are in the vicinity, a young couple (Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner) is taken hostage by them in their home. The killer bees are in search of pollen, dismayed that there is none to be found. As the leader (Elliot Gould) of the killer bees delivers a passionate speech, the camerawork begins to turn sloppy. A frantic Lorne Michaels, SNL's producer, traces the problem to the control room, where director Dave Wilson has passed out while operating the controls under the influence.
Bio: A veteran of live television, director Dave Wilson (1932-2002) operated the Saturday Night Live control room until the end of the show's 20th season in 1995.
Recurring Characters: Bees.
Note: Lorne Michaels appears on-camera for the first time.
Gilda & Elliot III
Summary: Gilda Radner introduces Elliot Gould to her mother (Paula Kahn), who flew in from Florida just to meet him.
Bio: Paula Kahn (1925-) is the mother of Madeline Kahn.
Albert Brooks Film
Summary: Albert Brooks attempts to find out how a test audience responds to his brand of comedy.
Gilda & Elliot IV
Summary: Gilda Radner asks Elliot Gould to consider marriage.
Summary: Scred & Peuta hide their affair from Ploobis.
Summary: Doctors (Dan Aykroyd, Elliot Gould) explain their preferred birthing methods to Jane Curtin.
Anne Murray perform "Boogie With You"
Powwow With The Press
Summary: Indians (Al Franken, Tom Davis) discuss white stereotyping on talk show forum.
Bio: Writers Al Franken (1951-) and Tom Davis were the only two people hired to work on "Saturday Night Live" without first meeting Lorne Michaels. The longtime comedy partners wrote many memorable sketches, appearing regularly in unbilled bit pieces before eventually joining the cast as featured players in the fifth season. Together, they wrote and starred in the theatrical flop, "One More Saturday Night." Franken's onscreen performances increased in the late 80's/early 90's, but he eventually left SNL in 1995 after his request to anchor Weekend Update was turned down.
Summary: Gilda Radner and Elliot Gould are married before the end credit roll.