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Jesus' Publicist

     How would Jesus have fared as a TV personality? Would he need a
publicist to get him a guest spot on the Tonight Show? Would he do
American Express Card commercials?
     We are all living in the midst of a $2 billion public relations (and
nearly $100 billion advertising) economy.
     The Pentagon's PR operation alone is now, according to former
Assistant Secretary of Defense for Public Affairs Michael Burch, "the
largest media conglomerate in the world." (A staff of 1,000 has $100
million to spend.)
     But AT&T's public relations effort is about that size. And its chief
publicist, at $400,000 in rate payers' money, is considerably better paid
than an Assistant Secretary.
     Burson-Marsteller is a PR agency with 1500 employees. And it's a
mere division of ad agency Young and Rubicam.
     What impact do publicists have?
     A Columbia Journalism Review study of a highly respected national
newspaper revealed that 45% of its stories were based in whole or in part
on press releases.
     A former publicist for Ringling Brothers dressed up someone as a
panda bear, and sent her through the halls of Congress handing out
bandannas, jeans and socks on behalf of corporations favoring textile
imports.
     Of course, all of this costs money.
     A U.S. Senate campaign now costs $3 million. That's five times
what it was in 1976, largely for advertising and public relations. (Even
California Supreme Court Chief Justice Bird's 1986 race may cost as
much.)
     Where does it come from? The political action committees (or
"PACs") contributed $12 million in 1974, and $100 million ten years
later. Are they buying more than good government? Senator Boren thinks
"we're jeopardizing the integrity of the entire election process." Senator
Mathias thinks "it's gotten to a point that can no longer be tolerated."
(He's retiring in January 1987.)
     The same folks who make us forget poisoned Tylenol, the Bank of
Boston's $1.2 billion illegal transfers, or Union Carbide's deaths in India
also want our acceptance of their legislative proposals -- and candidates.
     Now the Republicans have even hired a professional TV consultant
to advise the wives of their candidates how to dress, sit, stand and speak
on TV.
     The Strategic Defense Initiative ("Star Wars") debate is waged on
TV at the level of Saturday morning cartoons.
     The exceptions are rare. Wisconsin's Senator Bill Proxmire is one.
He has no contributors, and personally spends $30 rather than $3 million
(on the postage to send back the unsolicited campaign contributions).
     He literally runs for office, and, partly as a result, looks more like
he's in his forties than the 70 he is.
     Maybe if Senator Proxmire can do it for nothing, Jesus could. But I
wouldn't count on it.
     Jesus preached that our treasures just attract moths, rust and thieves.
What publicist could push that message after a commercial break for moth
balls, rust preventatives and burglar alarms -- especially this time of year?
 [November 25, 1985; Cowles December 22, 1985; ICPC December 23, 1985]
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