*** Copyright c 1982, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1986, 1995 by Nicholas
Johnson.  Conditions:  This material is copyright by Nicholas Johnson. 
However, permission is hereby granted by him to download, copy and
distribute the text to others if (1) the text is not altered, and (2) there is no
charge to the recipient, and (3) this copyright notice and conditions are
attached.  It is a copyright violation to distribute this material altered, or
without the copyright notice and conditions attached, or to use the
material in any way for which remuneration is received without the prior
permission of Nicholas Johnson.  Contact:   1035393@mcimail.com; Box
1876 Iowa City IA 52244; 319-337-5555.  Anyone using this material
should also be aware that, as a syndicated column, copyright may also
have been retained by the syndication services.  During the 1982-86
period of publication syndicators included:  The Iowa City Press-Citizen,
Gannett Corporation, Register and Tribune Syndicate, Cowles Syndicate,
and the King Features Syndicate. ***

Bigger Isn't Always Better

     The story I am about to tell did not start out to be a column. It
started out as a question for the phone company. But the process of
inquiry soon became more humorous, and revealing, than the original
subject.
     Who in the Bell System's media-relations department could get me
the information I needed? The inner structure of the phone company is
something of a mystery. But it seemed probable that the operators,
salespeople, repair folks and supervisors in my area were not the ones to
ask.
     So I called the local business office and asked: "What's the number
of media relations in New York?" The operator was friendly, but
perplexed. She'd have to check with her supervisor and call me back. Had
I tried the "800" information number? Someone she knew once got
through that way.
     The "800" information operator wasn't sure what "AT&T" was.
When I explained she said the only 800 number she had for them was the
"Long Lines." Doubtful, I thought, but dialed anyway. A computer spoke:
"The number is being checked for trouble." At least it came to the right
place for service, I mused, and waited for the local operator to get back to
me.
     Fifteen minutes later, she had a number for me. She'd checked Des
Moines public relations. Progress at last -- though I wondered why it had
a New Jersey area code.
     The answer? It was for AT&T International, in New Jersey. That
receptionist was, however, able to give me the number for corporate
headquarters at 195 Broadway.
     Corporate was not as friendly as International: "We don't accept
collect calls (slam)."
     "Look, operator," I said, "I'm a columnist trying to reach your
media-relations office. Surely you can help." There was a pause, a busy
signal, another pause, another busy signal. Then a voice (presumably her
supervisor) inquired, "Is this Chris Landon?"
     "No," I said, and repeated my request. "Hold on just a second," she
said. The "second," and my extension cord, turned out to be long enough
to brew a cup of tea.
     She came back, however, with two promising numbers. We tried
one. It was corporate media relations. The fellow wanted to know for
whom I worked before deciding it was worth AT&T's paying itself for a
collect call.
     He listened to my inquiry, decided it wouldn't lead to corporate
mischief, and referred me to another corporate media-relations department
-- back in New Jersey -- for the new company, American Bell. "I can
switch you," said the operator.
     The line went dead. A computer spoke: "If you would like to make
a call, please hang up and dial again. If you need help. . ." Boy, did I
need help, but not from this crew.
     I dialed the American Bell number, with the computer voice
("Please dial card number or zero for an operator now"), got the office. Of
course, the person I was supposed to talk to was in a meeting. He's going
to call me back.
     I'm waiting.
     Economists have long warned us that bigger is not necessarily
better, or more efficient. An automobile assembly line creates economies
of scale. An automobile company may create diseconomies, a collection of
automobile companies (like General Motors) even more.
     The same thing can be true in telecommunications. AT&T and
American Bell can be formidable competitors. AT&T kept poor old Tom
Carter and his "Carterphone" in litigation for 13 years. He had to sell off
Texas cattle ranches to pay lawyers.
     But size can be a disadvantage, too. You can usually reach anyone
in the federal government with six phone calls. When it takes more than
that at AT&T, when the phone company doesn't even know how to call its
own mother, small competitors may have a chance after all.
                                                   [ICPC July 4, 1983]
END OF FILE