March 3, 2010, Coralville - Pandemonium broke out in this sleepy eastern Iowa retail center Tuesday as scores of tropical and jungle animals escaped from the Iowa Environmental/Education Project, currently under construction here along Interstate 80.
 
Traffic snarls, reports of near-maulings, and more than 200 calls to 911 centers were reported. Local law enforcement officials quickly became overwhelmed and put out a call for animal control officers from across Eastern Iowa. Gov. Kirk Ferentz ordered National Guard troops to the area help round up the animals and restore order.

At a press conference yesterday afternoon, Coralville Mayor Wally McCheaze reported that all of the animals had now been either captured or accounted for, that there was no cause for further alarm, and that all Coralville shopping venues were open and ready for business.

Mayor McCheaze provided few details as to the cause of the animal escape but did report that, contrary to earlier reports by a local radio station, there were no deaths, and only a few minor injuries were suffered during the entire escapade.

The Iowa Environmental/Education Project includes plans for a 4.5-acre enclosed rainforest, a one million gallon aquarium, and exterior indigenous exhibits complete with trails, wetlands, and prairie. The project, which has been plagued by construction and financial woes, was to be completed more than 2 years ago and has been reported to be tens of millions of dollars over budget.

How the escape occurred

The Tuesday escape of more than 100 animals, including elephants, tigers, gorillas, and crocodiles was allegedly caused by a security fence malfunction. The animals had just been introduced into the facility in February. Although not part of the original concept for the project, the idea to add animals was developed in the 273rd revamp of the project design in 2006.

Details are still sketchy, but the malfunctioning security fence was reportedly installed by the same contractor that installed a security fence during 2003 at Coralville's Oakdale prison facility, the Iowa Medical and Classification Center. That security fence also malfunctioned shortly after installation and allowed two violent offenders to escape from the prison.

As frantic calls about elephants and tigers terrorizing Coralville began to come in to 911 call centers, officials initially assumed that the city was the target of a well-organized fraternity prank. Only when Police Chief William O'Hara noticed a 16-foot long Nile crocodile snacking on geese at the S.T. Morrison Park pond near City Hall did officials realize what was happening. On a related note, Chief O'Hara yesterday apologized for his earlier comment that the animal escape was "likely the work of either al-Qaeda terrorists or jealous Iowa City retailers."
Near-tragedies were reported when unaware citizens encountered some of the escaped animals. One of the most harrowing incidents involved a 500-pound Indian tiger that entered Coral Ridge Mall and reportedly terrorized patrons of the Barnes & Noble bookstore. While some quick-thinking shoppers ran to Scheels sporting goods store to grab weapons and nets, the ferocious tiger was eventually subdued by project officials after apparently suffering a "brain freeze" when it gulped down an entire gallon of Dippin' Dots ice cream pellets.

Football scout finds gorilla

Not all of the escaped animal and human contact stories were so frightening. Among the more humorous incidents was that of a 6-foot long giant forest hog, which was safely tranquilized and recaptured as it was found in a mating dance with apparently attempted to copulate with the fiberglass dinosaur statue located in front of the Sinclair gas station along Highway 6.

And a 600-pound Western Lowland gorilla was recaptured by animal control officers in the parking lot of The Vine, where it was discovered by University of Iowa Hawkeye football recruiter Jerry French. "Once I realized that there was no way this big, hairy guy was gonna sign a letter of intent for me," stated Mr. French, "I wanted him locked up so at least he couldn't play against us."

Iowa Environmental/Education Project officials announced today that despite the "unfortunate events of this week," construction on the ill-fated project would continue as planned.

Project spokesman George Flack stated, "This latest set-back will not deter us from moving ahead as scheduled. We still anticipate opening to the public by late next year, or the year after that, or at least by the time that the new genetically-engineered flying pigs arrive."

Reach J.D. Mendenhall, who works for Employment Plus and has lived in Iowa City for more than 20 years, at MendenhallJD@ aol.com.